1. Internet Search

A simple Internet search will garner a wealth of results noting agencies in your area or surrounding areas. A general Internet search for “adoption agency near me” can be a great tool, as it will not only list contact information for agencies but websites and reviews for them as well. Take some time to review the agency websites. There you may find information about services offered, fees, timelines, etc. Read through the reviews found on the general search pages, as these will give the most honest assessment from those who have hired these agencies.

2. Social Media Reviews

After doing a general Internet search, it is beneficial to sound off on social media. If you are part of any adoption groups on Facebook, this will give you a great opportunity to throw out the names of some of the agencies you have found in your search and get some honest feedback. These reviews can help weed out unprofessional and unethical agencies while highlighting the great agencies that go above and beyond. If you are a not part of these groups, they are prevalent all over Facebook with a simple search. You can also search the name of the agency on social media and reach not only their social media presence, but possible reviews or posts in which they have been mentioned. Social media is a great way to reach out to the agency and get questions answered before calling or making any commitments.

3. Cold Calls

If you like things a little more old school, you could do what everyone did before the Internet and simply look up numbers and call agencies. Some people like to talk directly to a person to get their questions answered, and that is completely understandable! If you are a more person-to-person kind of person, this would be a great option for you. You can find listings for agencies both online and in the phone book. It would be beneficial to write down your questions before calling to save both you and the agency time. You can also set up a face-to-face consultation with many agencies simply by giving them a call.

For more information on finding adoption services, click here. 

Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

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1. You’re comfortable with the way they speak about birth families. When you view their website and speak to them in person or on the phone, do they speak about birth mothers and birth families with respect? Do they make subtle comments that might suggest otherwise? You want to find an agency who cares just as much about birth mothers as they do about adoptive mothers. If your agency presents birth mothers with adoption information as well as parenting information so that she can make the best choice for her, that is a good agency.

2. They are transparent in their policies. You understand what they will do, when they will do it, and what to expect. This goes for emotional support, communication in general, and financial considerations. One red flag with an agency is not giving you important details up front. At one agency, I could not get my question answered until I asked for a copy of their contract. We went over the contract ourselves and had our lawyer family member review it. We found there was a time limit we were not told about up front. The contract said the agency would work with us on finding a birth mother match for a period of two years. No mention of what would happen if more time was needed. I knew some matches could take more than two years. The agency assured me, “everyone adopts within two years.” That wasn’t good enough for us. Words mean nothing if they aren’t in the contract. We would have lost all our money if not matched. When you get a contract, make sure there is either no time limit or that there is a way to recoup money lost.

3. They mesh with you. You should choose an agency that can realistically deliver what you want. If you choose an agency that places only ten children per year, then that means you are comfortable with waiting possibly a few years for a child. If you hope to adopt in less than a year, you may need to explore other agencies that do more placements per year and expand your preferences on what type of child you desire. If you pick an agency that does not allow for gender specificity and you just hope to be matched with the gender you desire, that will not be good for anyone involved. Find an agency that understands your wishes and won’t pressure you into something you’re not comfortable with. Remember, they work for you. 

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Not sure what to do next? First, know that you are not alone. Visit PregnancyHotline.org or call 1-800-GLADNEY and speak to one of our Options Counselors to get compassionate, nonjudgmental support. We are here to assist you in any way we can. 

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1. Answer ALL your questions

First and foremost, an agency should be up front and honest when answering your questions. They are the middle man that has everyone’s best interest in mind. If you feel even for a second you didn’t get the answer you were looking for, ask again. If you forgot to ask something at the meeting, then turn around, call, or email immediately. This is your future—it’s okay to ask as many questions as you need to to during the entire process.  

2. Be your coach

Yes, let’s be real. Adoption is a team sport, and your case worker is your coach. He should coach you through the home study. She will learn everything about you, your spouse, your marriage, your extended family, and anything that could pop up in the back ground checks. If you feel stuck filling out an application, writing a “dear birth parent” letter, or creating your profile book, your case worker should be there to help coach you through it. Call him. When you finally arrive at the hospital to pick up your baby, you case worker should also be there. She should be there, off and on, the whole time you are, answering your questions, calming your nerves, and coaching you through the whole thing. When you are preparing for court, your case worker will be there, too.

3. Communicate with you

You should feel connected and able to talk with your agency at all times. This should happen not only on your end, but they should stay connected with you, letting you know timelines, hang ups, or whatever gets thrown your way. Before you decide on an agency, ask how they communicate with waiting families. How will they let you know if you get selected—or, more importantly, not selected. (Those calls are much harder to take.) Your case worker should become your new best friend through this whole journey, from home study to final court date.

4. Support you

Adoption takes time—lots and lots of time. It’s easy to get discouraged. Your agency should have support systems in place for you to find comfort. Your case worker should have years of training in counseling and should be available for you to talk and vent your frustration to. Your emotions may run wild at times, but with support from your agency, it will be okay.

5. Check in on you

Communication is a two-way street. Your agency should check in on you periodically. You will have lots of contact during the home study. Then you wait. Wait for placement emails or calls, wait to hear if you were selected. Sometimes you get three possible placements in one week, and sometimes you get none for a month. If they haven’t heard from you in awhile, a good agency will check on you. They should be concerned about how you are holding up and want to keep you in the loop.

As you can see, communication is key when adopting. When you find an agency that is willing to stay connected with you on all levels, you have found a keeper!

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People arrive at the decision to adopt for all different sorts of reasons. One thing that we all have in common is the overwhelming feeling of having no idea where to begin. The adoption process is complex, and there can be curve balls around every corner. Although you do not need to use an adoption agency, for me, it was the best decision I could have made when starting this journey. There is much good that can come when you choose an adoption agency, and to me, there were three key aspects that stood out above the rest.

Knowledge

Once we chose an adoption agency, my husband and I went in for an informative meeting. All the steps of the adoption process, along with an upfront list of fees were provided. We left that meeting feeling like we had a solid understanding of what our next steps were and how to accomplish them. From that first meeting to the adoption of our daughter 14 months later, we never felt lost: We never felt like, “What are we supposed to be doing now?” Whether it was a question about an out-of-state adoption or what to do when an expectant mother stopped responding to us, we always had a quick, reliable response. Not having to navigate the adoption laws (which vary state to state, sometimes greatly) was a huge relief. We had a team of experts in our corner throughout the entire process.

Experience

Our adoption agency has been around for over 20 years and has placed thousands of children into loving homes. They have really “seen it all.” My husband and I advertised our adoption profile on our agency’s webpage as well as additional websites and were contacted by 17 women during our waiting period. The unfortunate truth is that there are people online who claim to be expectant mothers who are either out looking for money or attention. There were times our adoption counselor seemed almost psychic, to have a sixth sense for what was coming next. We would send her the email we received from an expectant mother and it was never a good sign if she called us immediately. She would list out the red flags in the email and warn us to tread lightly. It was always frustrating when she said someone, who seemed so good to us, was someone to be concerned with. I have to say though, our counselor’s instincts were dead on. She helped us avoid hours of wasted time and emotional distress with someone who was out to scam us.

Support

If there is one thing you need during the adoption process, it is support. To have friends and family who will listen and encourage you is wonderful; however, it is not the same as having a trained adoption professional listen to your concerns and give you practical advice. My husband and I had two adoptions fall through and that was incredibly painful. However whether it was our adoption counselor or the executive assistant, someone would reach out and help us process the grief in a way that could get us to push on and continue to hope that the next time it would work out.

The adoption process is a roller coaster ride for almost everyone. Choosing an adoption agency with a proven success record is one of the smartest decisions you can make as hopeful adoptive parents. It won’t mean smooth sailing, but it does mean you have the strongest possible life jacket.

If you are interested in getting started by creating an adoption profile, visit Adoption.com/profiles. For help finding an adoption agency for your international adoption, visit Adoption.com/international. 

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One of the most important choices you’ll make as a parent is which adoption agency to choose. There’s a lot at stake! One of those things is your future family—and the other is the financial means that (let’s face it) serves as the foundation for allowing you to move forward in the first place. You must choose wisely and know what red flags to be looking for in an unethical adoption agency. So, be sure to do your research carefully before committing to an agency. Know what those red flags are, and if you notice even one of them happening to you, MOVE ON. The reality is that although the vast majority of adoption agencies that you’ll come across are perfectly legit and on the up and up, unethical adoption agencies do exist. As engaged parents in the adoption process, when working with agencies, you have to stay one step ahead of the shady ones.

Here are eight red flags that suggest an adoption agency is operating unethically and illegally. Stay away from agencies that engage in these suspicious practices.

6. The agency is non-accredited. This one’s fairly straightforward: If the agency lacks accreditation and you can’t find any evidence to the contrary, stay far, far away. Avoid contact with this agency, and don’t sign anything with them that would initiate adoption proceedings.
7. Agencies and facilitators represent themselves as credentialed professionals who can “place children that other agencies cannot.” Basically, says Jennifer Mellon (child welfare professional and adoption author) in a recent article on adoption scams, “If it seems too good to be true, it often is.” Walk away.
8. An unethical adoption agency (in the case of international adoptions) claims that they can place children from a country that is currently on a temporary or permanent ban. Even if you have your heart set on adopting a child from one specific country, don’t allow the agency to convince you that they can work the miracle you’re seeking. The law is black and white, and if an agency tells you otherwise, it means that this firm is operating not only unethically but illegally! “If a country closed to intercountry adoptions or the U.S. Department of State has placed a temporary or permanent ban on a country placing children in the U.S. then NO agency can place a child from that respective country. If they claim they can, they are operating illegally,” explains Mellon.
9. The agency is placing surprisingly large numbers of children from a country where adoptions are normally very challenging. This is cause for great concern; do not allow an agency to sell you on their unique ability to move mountains and do what every other agency cannot. Again, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. It’s time to move to the next agency on your list!
10. The agency requires parents to pay higher-than-usual service fees with no real evidence to back up their claims that they can “{fill in the blank}.” An unethical agency will not be able to clearly demonstrate (with actual data and evidence) its genuine intent or ability to actually place a child with a family. Many such agencies have been shut down, but new ones pop up, so be watchful. Do your research. Find out what the typical service fees are for adoption agencies offering services similar to those you seek from the agency in question. If a particular agency’s fees are substantially higher than average, pay attention to your raised eyebrows and increased heart rate—and walk away.
11. You cannot access any reviews of the adoption agency by parents who have used that agency to form their families. Similarly, another iffy scenario might come to light when you ask the adoption agency for references—and they are unable to provide them (or they keep delaying). Chances are, if you are refused (directly or indirectly) or can’t find any reviews—or, alternatively, any good reviews—that’s a huge red flag that is screaming, “Move on.” You should always be able to fairly easily find a way to talk to families who have used the agency in the past. This is a typical and straightforward step in the adoption process—one that the agency should actually expect you to inquire about! (Although, keep in mind that they’ll probably pass along only the good references!) 
12. An unethical adoption agency urges you to act more quickly than you’re comfortable with because of impending fee increases. This is very suspicious behavior; treat it as such. If an agency informs you that their fees “are going up very soon” and that you should “act now” to initiate the adoption process with them, it’s definitely a sign that something icky is going on. In the case of one agency that suddenly closed its doors in 2016, one couple was “told prices were going up the following month by $20,000 or more, giving impetus to their decision to sign up immediately at the lower rate. They signed a contract with the agency at the end of October and paid an initial $2,450, then made monthly payments of $1,820 in November, December, and January. The final payment was credited back to their bank account, so all told the couple is out more than $6,000.”
13. An agency that is already not satisfying your adoption needs tries to pitch additional add-ons to you—at a cost, of course. One mother who was the victim of the 2016 adoption scam told CBS News that she and her husband “resisted a pitch by [the agency] in early January to sign up for a personalized online advertising program—at an additional cost of $2,400—to better market themselves to prospective birth mothers.”

In Sum, Do Your Research

What can these red flags teach you? For one, do your homework. Research every agency carefully. Put each one through your own personal vetting process. No question is too dumb; no level of detail is too specific. Know the red flags. Consult the Better Business Bureau, look at reviews online, check discussion boards, such as the ones on Adoption.com, to see what experience other families have had with the agency you are considering. Ask detailed questions about the number of adoptions that they completed in recent years. If it’s an international adoption agency, inquire about the agency’s relationships with their approved countries. You can stay away from an unethical adoption agency if you do your research.

Do your research. Pay attention to the red flags. They’re red for a reason.

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Navigating the adoption process can be tricky, time-consuming, and overwhelming. That’s why

it’s so important to work with a good, reputable adoption agency. But what do you look for? How

do you know who is the right professional for you? Here are some guidelines of what you should

expect from your adoption agency.

Good Communication

Every successful adoption starts with good communication. The agency you choose should be

willing and able to stay in touch with you throughout the process and beyond. You should have

a clear understanding of what is expected and required at each stage—from the paperwork to

the home study to meetings with expectant parents, post-placement visits, and court dates. A

skilled professional will be available to answer questions in a timely manner via phone or email.

Your adoption social worker should also have a clear understanding of the type of adoption you

are seeking to ensure a good match.

Honesty

No one likes to be deceived, but unfortunately, there are agencies that are unscrupulous and

dishonest. Before you work with an adoption professional, be sure to do your homework. Talk

to others who have worked with the agency you’re considering, look for online reviews and

comments, and find out how long the agency has been in business and how many children they

have placed. Don’t fall for promises to have a child in a very short timeframe or accept unusually

high fees that aren’t justified. If something doesn’t feel right or raises a red flag, walk away.  

Putting the Child First

The whole purpose of adoption is to find a safe, loving home for a child and that should be your

agency’s primary focus. Not every family is a good match for every child, and not every expectant

mom should go through with an adoption plan. Your adoption professional should keep an eye

out for potential issues and always strive to create the best possible outcome. What’s best for the

child may end up being a different family or even his or her family of origin. A skilled agency will

know what to recommend and how to form a solid family where the child can thrive.    

Ongoing Support and Counseling

Throughout the adoption process, you will likely have many questions, fears, and concerns. A good

adoption professional will be able to ease your mind, offer books and resources to educate you, and

never pressure you to make decisions you’re not comfortable with. This is true for both potential

adoptive parents and expectant parents. Adoption is a huge, life-changing decision for everyone

involved, so having proper support is crucial. By working together with a reputable agency, you will

have an excellent chance for a positive adoption experience. For more information on selecting an

adoption agency, please click here.

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